The Book of Joe: Pollyanna Goes to Brazil

By Joe "Pollyanna" Ruscito

Posted Thursday November 1st 2007

Foreward, by Stacey Fonas

It's been fun and exciting and whirlwindish for Joe, ever since he joined us on the RV at the beginning of October and showed up in his first video and we forced him to be a team rider due to his extremely positive attitude and ability to "work the brand" without even knowing what that means. Then, the next week, Alvaro came into town, and the two of them hatched the NYC/Empire State Plan, and Joe was all excited when he came back, most likely having gotten his picture in a mag, and said, "Is it ALWAYS like this, with so much fun, wonderful, exciting stuff going on?" We, back in the office, the jaded ones, laughed, and shook our heads, fearing that soon, when reality set in, life for Joe would fall back to normal, and he'd slide into a deep pit of depression, along with the rest of us.

THEN, I got a call for a mule to Brazil, and I volunteered, of course, but my mean (hehehe, just kidding!) boss said NO. So I was sitting around not wanting Brandon to get to go down again if I couldn't, when Joe, dreaming of Brazil, skyped me, presenting me with a much more ... palatable ... Brazilian solution.

Anything below in blue lettering is by me, where further explanation is required.

Chapter One

What ?!?!? Brazil?!?!?!

So in the same style as the last couple of weeks, this plan was brought about very suddenly and executed without delay. Talking to Stacey one afternoon while procrastinating on my homework and watching kiting videos (of Brazil), I jokingly said, "I wanna go to Brazil!” not expecting anything but a laugh in return, but what I got was much better. "Do you have your visa and can you go next Wednesday?” was Stacey's reply. I was off to Miami that weekend to get a visa and then off to Brazil last Wednesday!

(Right before Joe got into the car to go to the airport, Ian, CEO, said, "Uh, have you guys briefed him, and told him what it might be like down there?" (Meaning, "Brazil" can be a tough crowd. "Brazil" can need space. "Brazil" might not always like to babysit new people. That kind of thing.)

"Uh, I tried," I said, "But he didn't really believe me. Gavin, make sure you tell him on the drive down."

I walked back into the office with Ian and said, "Yeah ... Joe wanted to skype Alex last night and say, 'Wut up?' ...'wut' spelled 'w-u-t'! ... so it wouldn't be awkward when he got there!"

"HAHAHAHA," laughed Ian. "You're kidding. He wanted to skype Alex SHOGREN and say, 'WUT UP?'??!!"

"Yes," I said, "But I wouldn't let him."

"Good thing," said Ian. So, yeah, we were all a little worried about sending a "newbie" down to Brazil. But Joe's the kind of guy you can pretty much count on to be fine in whatever situation you throw him. People generally love him, but like I said, Brazil can be a tough crowd, so we just didn't know. But now back to Joe ... )

Gavin drove me to the airport around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, after we found out that my flight was actually at 6:15 instead of 7:15, so I got on the plane with little time to spare. And after a 10-hour ride with little or no sleep, I arrived in Forteleza, so tired I felt sick. Anyway, after going through Customs, I found Joce, the taxi driver that speaks zero English but knows where to take me because I'm wearing a Best hat and have Best golf bags in tow.

With no Reals (Brazilian money) because the ATMs didn't work and the exchange place was closed, I arrived at Alex's house. Having been told, "DO NOT WAKE ALEX UP" (along with a lot of other warnings) I carefully dropped the bags, unpacked my things, and put my board together, trying to avoid the random barks coming from one of Alexs dogs ("DO NOT MAKE THE DOGS BARK!").

Then, following my step-by-step itinerary Stacey had conjured up, titled "How to Go to Brazil," which was so specific and detailed it started out with something like "Get on the plane," I then took a right out of Alex's and walked about 2 minutes to the hotel (Isca do Sol), exactly as directed in Stacey's Definitive Guide to Brazil (which left out only one very important thing: do not flush paper down the toilets ... but she emailed the 'addendum' to me later. Thanks!).

When I got back to Alex's, he was awake and I introduced myself. And soon thereafter, we were off to the lagoon.

Soooo SICK. The place is nuts!!!! ... like ... well, paradise!

The first day was sick windy. I was well lit on the proto 9m Yarga. The kite is almost perfect. Super fast and really powerful. I guess the first day was windier then normal so everyone was very overpowered. Alex was throwing absolutely massive loops on his pink HP and everyone was going really big. I was trying to compete with Alex and throw some big loops too, but I think he had a bit of an advantage on me. I was a little too lit to try anything new but I tried to throw some big wake stuff.

The Lagoon

That night, I kinda layed low. I went out to dinner with Alex, Shannon and his girlfriend and ate ridiculous amounts of food. I then went back to Isca and got some very much needed sleep.

Chapter (and Day) Two, Part 1

The next day was much more fun than the first. The wind had died down to about 25, hahaha. Perfect day for a 9 meter. I rigged the 9m Yarga and figured I'd try it on the slower setting - I kept crashing it on handlepass attepmts the day before. The kite flew even better - it reminded me a lot of my 06 Yargas.

The day was sick. Everyone was pushing themselves hard, going for mobes and kgbs and slims and showing off for everyone in the shack. The stlye of riding in the lagoon is so cool. Everyone waits their turn in line, on the sand on the other side of the lagoon, then tries something right in front of the shack (the trick zone) and then gets back in line to do it all over again.

Where everyone waits

Later, I got to try the 9m HP - there's only one thing to say about it. IT GOES HUGE. Every jump is like ... scary. It feels a lot more like a C when it pulls you off the water. I liked it.

The end of the day, however, was the best part. Alex convinced me to try loop 3's (kiteloop handlepasses). Normally, I think it would have been a little too windy for my first attempt, but with Alex being the boss, I figured I'd try to impress him. The first try I got very close and was happy. I was so powered it helped a lot. The rest of the day I was determined to land it. I got very very close but didn't, and would have to try again the next day. Alex was a LOT of help. I didn't really expect him to be, but he knew exactly what I needed to do and what he needed to tell me to help.

Loop 3 attempt

OK, so this night Alex arranged for me and Dan (one of the "local" riders in from the UK)* to go out to Cumbuco so I drove home with Dan. After being the tourist that I am and snapping some photos, we got ready and were off to Cumboco, for a very interesting night ahead.

* OK, this is the point in the story where, if we were worried about how Joe was doing in Brazil, we can stop worrying. I hope it's ok to say this, but "Alex arranged for me and Dan" is a polite way of saying "Alex help fund the night." What the heck! If there was ANY QUESTION to whether Joe was "doing ok" down there, there are NO QUESTIONS ANYMORE.)

The windmill

From the only hill in Taiba

Chapter (and Day) Two, Part 2

After getting cleaned up, and dressed for a night on the town, we jumped into the buggy and headed for Cumbuco. Originally, we were going to take a cab by the regular paved road, but were assured that the tide had gone down enough to take the faster route, in the buggy, on the beach. Our first mistake.

So Dan and I drove down the beach talking about the regular stuff ... kiting and whatever ... excited for a night in town. When we got up by the pier and the port (about half way to Cumbuco, there were some small rivers and such, I though it was quite nomal but Dan realized that the beach had changed quite a bit. And all of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, we stopped moving, tires spinning and all. And, in not even enough time to realize we were stuck, the engine conked out. Damn!

After unsuccessfully trying to unstick the quite stuck buggy, we decided we were going to need some help. The tide was coming up and we were worried that if nothing was done, the buggy would go under. So our options were as such: walk two hours back to Alex's and ask him to come tow us out, or find someone around here. Lemme mention that we are out in the middle of nowhere.

So I opted to walk the quarter mile to the port and see if there was anyone there. Well. Though I made one security guard very, very nervous as I walked out of the darkness, I learned - in an English-and-broken-Portugese mix, that we could get help if we asked the people at the other side of the port.

So Dan and I trudged through water (in our nice "out-for-a-night-on-the-town" pants) - got soaked up to our waists, and proceeded to the port. Our entrance must have been entertaining for the workers: two white boys, soaking wet and sandy, looking very needy. We asked and waited, asked and waited, translated and waited for some help and finally got the picture across that our buggy was stuck.

Some of the workers were just getting off work and agreed to help us. I was very proud to use one of the words I was confident of the meaning, so I kept saying "obligato" and giving the sign for what I though meant "perfect." Haha, was I wrong ...

So these guys helped us pick the buggy up out of the sand and then walked off. Unfortunately, when we got in, the buggy wouldn't start, so Dan and I were still stuck with a buggy that wouldn't start. So back to the port for another try! We ended up recruiting another worker with a buggy and after a very long wait, he showed up and towed us ALL the way home. We said good night with another round of "ok/perfect" signs all around. By this time, we were starving and although Isca was technically closed, the guys opened back up and made us some great ham, hamburger, and cheese sandwiches (a new one for me ), and a got us a couple of drinks. I wish I had had my camera to document the events but I forgot it in the hotel. Ooops.

So here's a picture of Kara modeling with the white buggy we got stuck.

Kara and the buggies

Chapter (and Day) Three: Saturday

The next day a mechanic came by to help us start the buggy. He must have be a magician too because it took him 5 minutes and the buggy was running better than ever. And once again we were off to the lagoon.

When we got there, we immediately regaled the crowd with our tale of woe from the night before, only to find out one very important thing: the "ok/perfect" signs I'd been throwing around to everyone I talked to last night, everyone who helped us out? Index fnger on top of thumb, three end fingers raised? Well, in Brazil, that actually means "asshole." CRAP. Hahahaha. Oh well.

This was the best day of them all. The wind was perfect. A little lighter. Perfect for unhooking. And everyone was trying new things. I was determined: all I wanted to do was land the kiteloop 3, and after a couple of hours and many, many hard crashes, I did!!! And after the first one, it just clicked. Matt was getting very close to his back mobes, Isma was trowing HUGE raleys and mobes, Dan was throwing kgbs and slims, Marco was hucking raleys to blind and Alex even tried some handlepasses.

I guess I was lucky to see his "one attempt for the year." And at the end of the day, I even got to try some slims and was getting very close on some of them - but also taking some gnarly falls. I even broke my leash. NO GOOD. At the end of the day, I rode till almost dark. I just didn't want to leave. This is the kind of place I could stay forever.*

(* Gee, where the f$%^&k have I heard THAT before, says the bitter editor. That's MY forever place. MINE. NOT JOE'S. NO FAIR.)

Matt making caipirhinas

That night, Matt, Dan, Pia, Kara and I went out for pizza, after caipirinhas at Mark and Katie's, and bought a ton of things to ... declare ... through customs.

At the store

Haha ... really fun, and then even after everyone went home, Dan and I went for a beer in the town square and stayed up way too late, given I had to be up at 4 AM to catch my cab to the airport.

The next morning the guy that was supossed to wake me up couldn't, and I almost missed my cab.

From here the story gets kind of depressing. I really didn't want to leave. Everyone down there was really cool and fun to chill and ride with. I think I might have made a mistake by getting on the plane, hahaha, but I'll be back. Next time hopefully for longer ...

~ Joe

The End